Monday Night Man Meals #7

I fricken love wings. I love wings A LOT. I first had decent ones last year when my wife and I went to Hooters in the USA (which was amazing BTW). I was amazed at just how easy they are to cook and there is absolutely no denying that they are AWESOMEly manly! Hit the jump for the super-simple recipe as well as a run down on some of the usual accompaniments!


When we were at the "Palace of Boobs" or "America's largest employer of single-moms" as I like to call it, we were exposed to a really American way of eating wings. Making these right now kinda makes me realise that Buffalo Wings isn't so much about a flavour (although this can be quite distinct), but more about how you eat them and what you eat them with. Most of the time I am all about just chucking stuff together and seeing how it all works together, but for some dishes I like to experience them they way they were intended to be experienced - Buffalo Wings is one of those dishes. (Don't get me started on Eggs Benedict...)

For me, the 'correct' wings accompaniments go something a little like this: A good pile of spicy wings, hot wings sauce, blue cheese dressing and celery sticks (those with a keen eye will note that I forgot this vital palate cleanser). On the side, you cannot go wrong with a good stack of deep fried pickles! I know they sound weird, but hear me out, if you like pickles even just a little bit, you will LOVE them deep fried! (The pickles are worth trying just on the own, even if you don't make the wings.)

Hang on,... I just realised that I said the "R" word back there... "Recipe". So, I guess that means I should probably give you some weights and measures and what not... Fine. I will.

For this super simple recipe, you will need the following (for 2 big eaters or up to 6 as a snack)...

Wings:

• ~1.5kg of Chicken wings / Nibbles
• 1/2C flour - 'all purpose' is fine
• 1 Tbsp Garlic powder
• 1tsp Chili or more if you're an actual man
• 2tsp Spices - I used a bit of salt & pepper, sumac etc. Whatever you prefer is good
• A large snap-lock bag

Fried pickles:

• A jar of sliced pickles - 'spears' if you can get them, don't freak out if you can't though. I used long-cut ones for this post - I found the crinkle cut ones don't work so well. You could always be less lazy than me and just cut whole ones up...
• 1C flour - I used a mix of mainly rice flour (lightness) and a little all purpose (density). Just use whatever you have in the pantry
• ~1/2C beer - lager is good, the pickles are quite flavoursome, so you can be a little adventurous if that churns your butter

Sauces (if you decide to make your own...):

• Hot sauce: 50:50 butter & Louisiana Hot Sauce (e.g. Tabasco), just simmered gently to emulsify. Use un-salted butter if you have it - it doesn't burn as fast as the normal kind
• Blue Cheese: About 1 part blue cheese, crumbled and mixed into 3 parts sour cream
• Ranch: out of a bottle 'coz no one really knows what ranch dressing is anyway...

To be fair, I just bought all the sauces - but that's only 'cause I was lucky enough to find Frank's Buffalo Wing sauce. If you can't find the right hot sauce, I encourage you to make the butter and Tabasco one - even just once.

Now, we're gonna do a little oven baking as well as a little deep frying here, so let's get this shit happening in the right order! First, pre-heat your oven to 180°C.

Next, you want to prepare the batter for the pickles. Chuck the flour in and season with a little S&P. If you have rice flour, it helps make a super puffy, light batter. The beer also removes the need for any rising agents like you get with stodgy Chinese fish 'n' chip shop batter. Just add beer until it is the right consistency. You want something about the same as house paint. No lumps! When you're done with this, cover in gladwrap and pop it into the fridge.

Next, take your pickles, drain them well and pat them out on paper towels to remove most of the liquid. We wanna make sure they're dry so the batter sticks. Cover them in layers of paper towels and chuck into the fridge also. The biggest secret to puffy, crunch batter is temperature... You want your pickles (or fish, chips, mayonnaise, McDonalds toys etc) and batter to be as cold as possible without being frozen. The Japanese put their tempura batter in an ice bain-marie to keep it cool...and that shit is puffy like Sean Combs yo!

Next-o, we're gonna take that big zip-lock and put the flour and spices in there. It might not seem like a lot of coating for the amount of wings, but it'll go real far with this method. Seal the bag up so there is a bunch of air still in there, grab either end (not the sides!) nice 'n' tight and give it a good shake for about 20secs until everything is covered good 'n' proper.

At this stage I have opted to bake these. You could deep-fry them. But you could also die of sudden cardiac arrest. I'll leave that one over to you... Going for the oh-so-marginally healthier option, you want to do them for about 20-25 mins on each side or until golden. (If frying, you want the oil around 180°C. Cook for around 5 mins, or until golden...and heart-stopping.)

If you're making your own hot sauce, you wanna put it on the cooker just after you turn the wings over. Simmer REAL gentle-like. About 10-15 mins on a super low heat should be heaps. Remove from heat and just reheat when you're ready to serve.

When your wings are about 5 mins from being done, it's time to fry the pickles (oh NOW it's ok to deep-fry shit?) Start by heating the oil in a heavy pot (this helps the oil hold temp - if you have a fryer, use that of course. I only know one person with a fryer and he cooks the most ungodly shit in it... like battered KFC Double Downs. Sicko) and heat to about 180°C.  Take a chilled slice of pickle, dip it in the batter to give it a goodly coating and gently drop it into the oil being careful not to splash. Splashie = burnies. Ouchy.

Cook in small batches keeping an eye on the temperature (too big a batch will cool the oil too fast). Let the oil reheat between batches. When the batter is golden like this^ - you're good to go. Drain the excess on a paper towel. (I'm not a TOTAL animal)

Now, whip your wings out... they should look something like this. Nice 'n' golden and crispy skinned. You wanna serve the whole lot - wings & pickles - with the sauces. Hot sauce & Blue Cheese dressing with the wings and ranch with the pickles (I will come to you house and wee in your clothes dryer if you put hot sauce on your pickles... just kidding. Go for it!)

There's only one thing for it... crack a beer and dip that shit! 

This is another one of those AWESOME meals you can make for a bunch of mates (I once cooked something like 7kg in one go... big eaters, my mates) without being accused of being a 'hostess with the mostess' - there is no possible way that wings and beer could be confused with anything even marginally un-manly!

GET IN!

-jeffois