[REVIEW] A Little Late to the Party: Duke Nukem Forever

IT'S TIME TO FINISH MAKING DNF AND CHEW BUBBLE GUM, AND WE'RE ALL OUT OF GUM.

The new Duke Nukem from 3D realms and Gearbox Software has finally launched after seemingly forever (har har). The Ass-Kicking hero is back, and is the same as he always was; More manly than you will ever be.

But in a world of insane graphics, walking refridgerators with guns (see Gears of War) and logic puzzles so intense they can only be solved by NASA and CIRN, we find a game that takes us back to the good old days. You're a bad ass. You're mission is to be as bad ass as possible from point A to point B, killing monsters using overly eccentric guns, and melee attacks with muscle density so high it rivals a battering ram.

Though what surprises me the most is where Duke Nukem Forever not only steps up, but steps ON its competitors with such simplicity. You're the hero. Why? Who cares why? You just are. There's never this looming sense of fear that the world will end or that you might not make it in time, only the satisfying knowledge that you will slaughter anything that moves for the next few hours and have a damn good time doing it.

As a professional FPS Gamer, I have to admit that DNF loses points right off the bat for its lack of a health bar. In DNF you have your 'ego' bar, which acts like your shield and can be upgraded through manly acts of awesome during the game (such as photocopying your ass or lifting weights), but it makes up for this loss with its superb use of power-ups. Drinking beer makes your vision blurry, but it also makes your far less susceptible to damage. And going on a 'roid-rage' and punching enemies inside out NEVER gets old. For me, though, It's main attraction is the lack of cover. No more of this pansy-ass hide-behind-a-bench-while-I-get-out-a-splinter crap. Duke Nukem has no cover because he simply doesn't need it. Do you have guns? Then stop hiding and shoot something. You don't have time to run for a chest high wall, there's aliens to kill!




While entertaining, DNF is sadly not a highly challenging game. The entire game is strictly linear, with only a few areas off to the side to explore. Even on its hardest difficulty I found the AI to be vicious, but not altogether very bright. My disappointment is quickly dismissed when I simply recall that this is a DUKE NUKEM game, filled with ridiculously over the top explosions, incredible boss fights, plenty of booze and lots of naked women, topped off with its humorous quips about other games, celebrities and well known quotes. It definitely makes for a very satisfying, and overall worthwhile, gaming experience. If you havent ever played a Duke Nukem game before, or you're feeling nostalgic over the old DN3D box you found in your garage, check it out. You will not be dissapointed.

-ShockBlade